Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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