i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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