Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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