So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
