Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
