I forgot how hot balto sounded
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Randomize
