Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
