oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
