marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
