My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
