I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
