There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
