Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
