thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
