It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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