listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
