So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize