Kiss
Puke
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
