It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
