Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
