I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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