apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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