idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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