you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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