The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
