we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
