I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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