whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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