I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
