I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
