I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
