hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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