How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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