You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just want to make out with him forever
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
