Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
