Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
