The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
