No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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