I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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