that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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