I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
