There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
