can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
