Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
