There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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