pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
