Whod you bang
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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