how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
