scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
