I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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